(originally posted on several newsgroups including alt.homosexuality)
[Note: This article is humor, and intended "tongue-in-cheek" as it were.]
It was Adam and Eve who committed the original sin...says so right there
in The Old Testament, you know, "The Good Book", "The Bible."
GENESIS CHAPTER THREE. Adam and Eve were what? A man and a woman, you know,
as in "heterosexual." Original sin wasn't created between two
men or two women, you know, "Adam and Steve" or "Madame and
Adam and Eve broke God's law: they "knew" each other, as in "had
intercourse", as symbolized by the eating of the apple in the tree
of knowledge of good and evil. They "knew" each other: they "knew
evil". How obvious, how simple. God had other plans for human
procreation...to create new beings from our hearts and minds, just as
God and the angels do. But when this law was broken, he condemned
heterosexuals to give birth in an inferior way, just like animals...in
blood, feces, and pain.
All other sins are mere spinoffs of the original sin: The sin between a
man and a woman, the sin of heterosexual conjugal relations. It's there,
right there in The Good Book...and no one can erase or alter that fact as
plain is the nose at the end of your face.
No true homosexual woman or man would ever *dream* of violating that most
fundamental of God's law. We are persecuted by the descendants of Adam and
Eve: heterosexuals. Straight, homophobic bible-thumping idiots who are *jealous*
that we Lesbians and Thracians will never have to answer to God for that
original, most heinous of all sins: for we are FREE FROM ORIGINAL SIN! Hallelujah,
my gay sisters and brothers, hallelujah to us all!