Seeds of Hope

How Do I Know I'm Gay?


[Posted on November 5, 1999]

Rev. Turner:

I am a man that has dabbled in homosexual activity and have come to the conclusion, that since God designed my body and I was born a male, that having sexual interaction with a man was not and is not appropriate for me any more! I have put my faith in what the Bible states about Jesus Christ, the one and only Savior for humanity's twisted minds, activities, et. Nevertheless, I have one question: What is the criteria to determine if I am 'gay' or just getting off on the rebellious, erotic activity of it all??

Thank you,
Terry


Dear Terry,

My dear child of God, being a homosexual and sharing your love for a person of the same gender has nothing to do with the way your body is put together. Have you ever closely observed our teeth? Our teeth are designed to eat vegetarian items, not meat. Yet, we have been consuming meat almost from the beginning. We were not designed with wings, yet we fly. Our bodies were not designed so that we could go hundreds of miles in a day yet we have found ways to do that. We were given lungs as opposed to gills, yet we have found ways to explore the deepest parts of the ocean. We were not given fins, yet we swim.

Being gay is about being attracted to the same gender in our expressions of who and what we are -- about what and how we love. Unless one is sexually addicted there will not be just a wholesale search for erotic sex. Our sexuality is just a further expression of who we are.

I am not sure there is a criteria for being gay other than knowing that deep in one's soul what attracts you to a particular person and the way that love is expressed once you are with the right person.

If sexual expression to you is just erotica, than you have a far different problem than homosexuality.

As bizarre as this question might sound: Was my penis designed for a woman's vagina, in association with reproduction of the human race and sexual intercourse or was it designed for sticking it in my fellow man's rectum /anus?

A final thought Terry: the methods of expressing your homosexuality via sex acts do not always end or start for that matter with anal intercourse. There are many male homosexuals who do not participate in this particular form of love making. Again, it is not the design that makes the difference, rather it is the heart.

God Bless,

Pastor Paul


Rev. Turner is Sr. Pastor at Gentle Spirit Christian Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

If you are seeking guidance and pastoral care on your journey to fullness as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered person, please contact Pastor Paul directly at pastorpaul@whosoever.org.