Trusting God's Silence

by: Glenda Edwards


I sing a song that has the lyrics in it: " You call in prayer to find him there, and you wonder where He went. Best remember He's still with you for your needs to supply, just hold on to His promises and on His word rely."

How many times have I prayed to God, "Hey, are you really there? How come you won't hear me?" Yet, I Know He is there because He always answers my prayers in time. Just because God is sometimes silent, doesn't mean He isn't listening!

How do I deal with the silence of God? Sometimes it's not easy. I have even shouted at God, gotten angry, and still His love is there. He takes me into his arms and holds me when I am hurt, when I am down, when I don't have enough money at the end of the month to pay all the bills. God supplies all my needs according to His riches in glory!

I can only have faith, because I have nothing else. But, I rest assured that in God's time He will answer my prayers -- maybe not always what I want to hear -- but nonetheless, His grace is sufficient!

To me God is never really silent -- we just are deaf to what He has to say to us!

I have struggled with my own sexuality and often thought God wasn't listening when I asked him why I feel so condemned and all alone and why is everyone turning away from me. I was around 39 when I actually came out "full force"! Boy did I think my prayers fell on deaf ears then! I kept praying, "God show me something. Let me know why I feel this way. Why don't you show me if I am loved, and can still be gay!" I cried and even considered suicide! My family and friends turned from me. I felt like I was all alone!

It took time before I got a response, but got one I did, and it was this: "I love you my child for who you are. I created you and I know your heart. Never lean upon your own understanding but in all ways acknowledge me and I shall direct your paths!" In this I can rest assured that God is there when we call on him, for He shall never leave us, nor forsake us but sometimes we just need to learn to listen a little bit harder!

Before I could hear God speaking I had to get "me" out of the way. I had to learn to put aside the hurt, the bitterness and unwillingness to forgive that I had in my life for those who hurt me so badly... who I thought loved me for me ... only to discover that they didn't! God's silence taught me to trust Him more and to wait upon Him. I now know that there really is a time when He wants us to just wait and be patient ... to learn to trust God ... and not always "want" answers immediately. I didn't say I understood all this but I trusted God in faith and learned that when God is silent it's because he is doing a work in me and I will come out better than I was before!

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The Presence of Absence : On Prayers and an Epiphany

Doris Grumbach


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Also In This Issue:

Gays in Heaven? Absolutely!

The First Rhubarb


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