Grace and Transsexualism


by: Lucas Hawkins


It was a long and hard road for me because of my transsexualism. I was very confused and angry. What I felt inside was not what I was on the outside and it made me very insecure and frustrated. I knew by the age of eight that there was something very wrong about myself. I also knew that I could not tell my parents how I felt. I was too afraid that they would not love me if I told them about my dysphoria. I bore this burden for a long time, needless to say I had rejected the Christian walk. This was mainly due to the fact that my parent's church was totally ignorant of the truth. There was no pastor-teacher in this church, so the deacons took turns presenting a sermon for Sunday service. No one had the proper instruction on how to rightly divide the Word of God. Through their ignorance they believed that unless you were baptized, along with salvation, you would not see the kingdom of God. My Mother still stubbornly believes this today, even though I explained to her the truth. I have found that most churches today believe as my mother does. They would rather take the word of a man over the Scriptures because they are too lazy to take the time to study the Word or research the culture, the traditions, the history and the dispensations of that time, or the author and the people the author was speaking to. Well, I wanted the truth and not what man thinks. I could not believe God would leave me in a condition helpless and hopeless to save myself.

This is the reason why I began studying the Bible for myself, purely out of survival, since everyone I spoke to would tell me I was going to hell if I didn't change my lifestyle. I had a deep resentment toward God because my prayers were not being answered. I felt alone. I could not understand why He would not heal me from this affliction. God seemed silent all through my childhood. What I didn't know though, was that God was carrying me through this period, preparing for what was ahead of me. He was controlling my life, I just wasn't aware of it.

Matthew 7:13-14 is about the narrow way. It is focused on what people must avoid to stay on that road. I wanted to walk that narrow road so badly and although my intentions were wrong about walking that road, God put me through an adventure to break me, so that I would receive the Truth with meekness. God knew I would never accept what He had for me because my mindset was to have Him take this curse away. God wanted me to accept grace and that His grace was sufficient for me, but I did not know grace. Praise be to the Lord, I have come to understand a portion of it.

The narrow way is the way of grace. God calls it the "narrow" way because it cannot be walked except by the power of the Holy Spirit. Nothing can be added to this way. "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Spirit; which He shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour" (Titus 3:5-6).

The way of God is grace and all grace. Anything we might attempt in our own strength is unacceptable. "Enter ye in at the straight (narrow) gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and may there be which go in there at: Because straight is the gate, and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." Jesus was talking about grace, the only way a man can ever come to God and be saved. "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Billions of years ago in heaven, God longed to reveal His character and His nature, what He is like. So the Trinity, in the persons of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, held a meeting ("the determinate counsel," Acts 2:23). There, God, the Father, presented a plan for the ages that the Son would execute in time on earth. In this plan, Jesus voluntarily died on the Cross. He shed His blood and bore all of our sin in His body so that we might believe on Him and have eternal life. With this revelation and inspiration by the Holy Spirit to the hearts of men, the whole plan of eternity was designed to show us the very narrow way called grace.

Many people fear Matthew 7:13-14 because they don't understand it. The legalistic preacher will say that to walk the narrow way means to keep the Law. Those who always preach the letter of the law, teach that it means we must follow a set of rules, living in "dos and don'ts." Many people spend their lives trying their best to live under the law, completely missing the meaning of the narrow way.

This "narrow way" is strictly the grace of Almighty God. Why is grace a narrow way? There is no possible way we can make it apart from grace! We must understand the economy of God's grace -- He did it all. That is the narrow way.

Jesus Christ came to bring grace and truth to sinners. "Of His fullness have all we received, and grace for grace. For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ" (John 1:16-17). Even though they are inseparable, grace must come before truth. We cannot experience truth about God's holiness and righteousness unless we first understand grace. The focus is upon what God does for us: He is constantly pouring into our lives grace upon grace upon grace.

That is the narrow way. It is a way so narrow that if we try to add one thing to grace, it will profit us nothing, and God will not accept it.

Grace gives faith to the weakest person. It gives hope to the backslider. It gives encouragement to the person who has failed over and over again, and when a fallen person turns to the Lord, the first thing they must learn is not to change themselves, but to release the grace that they have received. Only then can they reveal the same character that brought His redemption and forgiveness through the blood of Christ (Ephesians 1:7).

The most difficult thing to understand is that grace is pure grace. "And if by grace, then it is no more of works: otherwise grace is no more grace. But if it be of works, then it is no more grace: otherwise work is no more work" (Romans 11:6). When we receive unconditionally the grace of God that motivates His love and reveals the characteristics of mercy, then we place God in His rightful position of headship in relationship to our walk on earth. Our submission to a throne of mercy does away with hypocrisy and legalism.

There is no way we can ever teach too much grace, and this is why: Grace always takes us into the heart of God as it puts the heart of God inside of us. Grace keeps leading us to know Him, to know the power of His resurrection, and to know the fellowship of His sufferings. Grace always brings us into and eternal perspective so that we will begin to comprehend the compassion and the scope of God's love toward every single person on earth.

Most of my material comes from Grace Publications, and the church I fellowship with for the past two years. I have grown so much in the knowledge of the Word of God, but I still have much to learn. I am so grateful to my Lord for lighting my path to a church with a pastor-teacher who is bold and straightforward in his teachings, confident in a committed Saviour, and not worried about what others will say or think of him. I will continue to praise and worship my Lord, for my mindset is focused on Christ and what He has done for me and I am trusting in Him to lead me where He wants me to go. I want to be a useful vessel and I get excited when I see where He has used me to bring in the will and good pleasure of God.

Copyright © 2000 by the author
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Books:

The Grace of Coming Home : Spirituality, Sexuality, and the Struggle for Justice

Melanie Morrison

Feminist Theory and Christian Theology : Cartographies of Grace

Serene Jones


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Other Articles By Lucas Hawkins:

The Purpose of Suffering


Also In This Issue:

Mel White Replies to the Critics

The Lost Baptist Ark






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