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Christian Football
Quarterback Sneak: Church members quietly leaving during
the invitation.
Draw Play: What many children do with the bulletin during
worship.
Halftime: The period between Sunday School and worship
when many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer: Those who do not sing, pray, work, or
apparently do anything but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion: Making a trip to the back (restroom
or water fountain) during the service.
Staying in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money
that should be given to the Lord's work.
Two-minute Warning: The point at which you realize the
sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children
and belongings.
Instant Replay: The preacher loses his notes and falls
back on last week's illustrations.
Sudden Death: What happens to the attention span of the
congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
Trap: You're called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run: Getting out of church quick, without speaking
to any guests or fellow members.
Flex Defense: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said
during the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option: The decision of 50% of the congregation
not to return for the evening service.
Blitz: The rush for the restaurants following the closing
prayer.
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