You Might Be a Southern Baptist If…

by Whosoever in Humor
  • You think John the Baptist started the SBC.
  • You think God’s presence is strongest on the back three pews.
  • You think “Amazing Grace” is the national anthem.
  • You judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat worked up by the preacher.
  • Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
  • You ever wondered when Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong would get paid off.
  • You honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
  • You think worship music has to be loud.
  • You think Jesus actually used Welch’s grape juice and saltine crackers.
  • You judge the quality of a service by its length.
  • You ever wake up in the middle of the night craving fried chicken and interpret that feeling as a call to preach.
  • You believe that you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
  • You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.