A major research institution has recently announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium."
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75
deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held
together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction
with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Administratium causes one reaction to take over four
days to complete when it would normally take less than
a second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it
does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each reorganization causes some morons
to become neutrons forming isodopes. This characteristic
of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."
You will know it when you see it...
