The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the
Corinthians. With love all things are possible. This
epistle comes to you from Philippi. Grace be to you
and peace. Spiritual gifts will be delivered unto you
within four days of receiving this letter - providing
you in turn send it on.
This is no joke. Send copies to whomsoever among the
Gentiles or superstitious peoples of other
denominations you would comfort in all their
tribulation. Do not send material things. Love
vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.
While visiting the household of Stephanas, a
Macedonian proconsul received the epistle and was
greeted by his brethren by a holy kiss. But he broke
the chain, and now he is become as sounding brass or a
tinkling cymbal.
Gaius bestowed all his goods to feed the poor, and
gave his body to be burned, but it profited him
nothing. He failed to circulate the letter. However,
before his death, he received the unleavened bread of
sincerity and truth.
Do note the following: Crispus had the gift of
prophecy, and understood all mysteries, and all
knowledge, and had all faith, so that he could remove
mountains. But he forgot that the epistle had to leave
his hands within 96 hours, and now he is nothing.
In AD 37, the epistle was received by a young Galatian
woman who put it aside to copy and send out later. She
was plagued by various problems: thrice she was beaten
with rods, once she was stoned, and thrice suffered
shipwreck. On the last day of these occasions, she
spent a night and day in the deep. Finally, she copied
the letter. A trumpet sounded, and she was raised
incorruptible.
Remember: Believeth all things, hopeth all things. The
chain never faileth.
--St. Paul (you think?)
