Seeds of Hope

I've Just Discovered I'm a Lesbian


[Posted on April 21, 1999]

Rev. Turner:

I have just recently found out that I am a lesbian. I have felt this way for some time but never would recognize it because of my Christian background. I met a woman that makes me absolutely HAPPY. How can that be wrong??? I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman but every time I think of doing that I feel like I would be sinning.

The only member of my family that knows about me is my sister. Every time I talk to her about being a lesbian she makes me feel as if I have to choose either being and Christian or lesbian. I don't feel that loving someone so much can be wrong. God made me this way...how can it be wrong? And I feel that I CAN continue to be a Christian and love the woman of my dreams at the same time.

I have be brought up in a very religious family and I am very confused about this new side of myself. Can you please help me? I cant live without God in my life and I don't want to live without this woman either. Do you have any answers?

Thank you so much :)

Mary


Dear Mary,

Let me deal with this in sections.

"How can that be wrong???"

It isn't.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman..."

Do it!

"every time I think of doing that I feel like I would be sinning."

You are absolutely not sinning.

"Every time I talk to her (sister) about being a lesbian she makes me feel as if I have to choose either being and Christian or lesbian."

You don't have to choose and your sister is absolutely wrong!

"God made me this way...how can it be wrong? And I feel that I CAN continue to be a Christian and love the woman of my dreams at the same time. I have be brought up in a very religious family and I am very confused about this new side of myself. Can you please help me? I cant live without God in my life and I don't want to live without this woman either."

You are correct God did make you this way and the only reason you are feeling confusion is because the church you went to is the author of that confusion. Actually, Mary, I broke your letter down as I did because in fact with this last paragraph you already have the answer to your questions.

"I feel that I CAN continue to be a Christian and love the woman of my dreams at the same time."

God made you with a mind that can think, feel and discern. God speaks to you through that mind. Listen to God not your sister or church. The church is on a power and control trip and your sister is afraid for your soul. However, neither one has the final say of who God created you to be. The sin here would be to hide or be ashamed of what God has created and reject the gift of love from this women that is yours through God!

God bless,

Pastor Paul


Rev. Turner is Sr. Pastor at Gentle Spirit Christian Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

If you are seeking guidance and pastoral care on your journey to fullness as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered person, please contact Pastor Paul directly at pastorpaul@whosoever.org.