While cruising the 'net I came across this list called "Seven Things I wish Pro-Gay People Would Admit." The list makes some sweeping, unsupported claims and paints the gay and lesbian community with a rather broad brush. My response stays close to his form, and may also make some unfair sweeping generalizations about "ex-gays" and heterosexuals, which I think effectively reveals the ignorance of his list.
|Seven Things I Wish
Pro-Gay People Would Admit
By: Bob Davies
|Seven Things I Wish
Anti-Gay People Would Admit
By: Candace Chellew
I wish they would admit that many people are not happy with their homosexuality
or lesbianism, and that this conflict is internal, based on legitimate,
intelligent religious and moral convictions--not just the result of a so-called
"homophobic" society which is forcing guilt upon people who don't conform
to a heterosexual ethic.
Stop throwing out the cheap, inaccurate labels like "internalized homophobia" to explain our motivations.
|1. I wish they would admit that many people are very happy with their
homosexuality or lesbianism, and that there is no internal conflict.
intelligent religious and moral convictions, homosexuals are assured
are in the place God has for them, and there is nothing wrong with
orientation. They do not feel the need to "come out" of their
simply because of the guilt anti-gay forces try to impose upon them.
Stop throwing around the cheap, inaccurate labels like "immoral lifestyle" to explain our lives.
I wish they would acknowledge that homosexuals and lesbians can experience
significant change in their sexual feelings and desires, even though they
may never be totally heterosexual in their sexual thoughts and feelings.
Be honest enough to admit that such change is significant and genuine, even if it isn't complete.
| 2. I wish they would acknowledge that homosexuals and lesbians can
significant joy and fulfillment through their sexual feelings and
Be honest enough to admit that fulfilling relationships are possible within a homosexual context.
3. I wish they would
acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have found a greater
measure of peace and satisfaction after leaving a gay or lesbian lifestyle
than they ever experienced while embracing homosexuality.
Not all "ex-gays" are miserable, plotting how to secretly fulfill their homosexual lusts without being caught.
| 3. I wish they would acknowledge that present homosexuals and lesbians
greater measure of peace and satisfaction after leaving a heterosexual
lifestyle than they ever experienced while embracing heterosexuality.
Those "ex-gays" who aren't miserable, and can honestly say they have no more feelings of homosexual attraction, were probably never gay to begin with, and they have "come out" as heterosexuals, much like a homosexual "coming out" of heterosexuality. These people most likely won't even refer to themselves as "ex-gays" ... they have moved on with their lives.
I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians
have genuine joy in their marriages.
Most former gays and lesbians don't get married in a futile attempt to "escape" homosexuality; they marry as a natural consequence of resolving that issue in their lives.
| 4. I wish they would acknowledge that many homosexuals and lesbians
genuine joy in their marriages (or holy unions)!
Most gays and lesbians seek that solid relationship on which to build their future. They marry, or have holy unions, as a natural consequence of realizing their homosexuality is proper and natural.
|5. I wish they would acknowledge that all people have as much
right to pursue a heterosexual lifestyle as they
do to pursue homosexuality.
Former homosexuals and lesbians should not be harassed and castigated by the gay community. But I have never heard any gay or lesbian leaders speak out against the violence (such as bomb threats and physical/verbal abuse) which some people perpetuate against Exodus ministries.
| 5. I wish they would acknowledge that all people have as much right to
homosexual relationship as they do to pursue heterosexuality.
Gays and lesbians should not be harassed and castigated by the "ex-gay" community. I have never heard any "ex-gay" leaders speak out against the violence (such as the bombing at an Atlanta gay nightclub) perpetrated against the gay community.
| 6. I wish they would stop equating our decision to leave
homosexuality with "hatred" and "bigotry" against
gays and lesbians.
We don't hate gays; we simply desire to live free of homosexuality. Don't put nasty labels upon our motives. That's being judgmental and unfair.
| 6. I wish they would stop equating our decisions to remain homosexual
being "misguided" or "sick" or in need of "healing" or "saving."
We don't hate "ex-gays;" we simply desire to live free of their efforts to "recruit" us to their side. Don't put nasty labels on our motives. That's being judgmental and unfair.
|7. I wish pro-gay religious leaders would admit that their
endorsement and promotion of monogamous
homosexual relationships is a facade.
Many--probably most--men and women involved in long-term partnerships are not sexually monogamous, but gay churches don't discipline members for committing "adultery" outside their "gay marriage." Neither do they discipline gays or lesbians who have sex before entering into a "holy union" with their partner.
| 7. I wish anti-gay religious leaders would stop teaching that all
care about is sex. Many live in monogomous, happy relationships.
Many -- probably most -- men and women involved in state-sanctioned marriages are not sexually monogomous, but mainstream churches don't discipline members for committing adultery outside their marriages. Some churches even allow admitted adulterers and divorced people to remain in the pulpit or serve as deacons. Also, there is no discipline for those heterosexual couples who have sex before their marriages.