Seeds of Hope

If Being Gay Is So Wrong, Why Am I So Happy?


[Posted on November 24, 1999]

Rev. Turner:

I've been a Christian all my life, I'm 52 year old. I've been unhappily married twice, then I met a woman and out of loneliness I began a relationship with her, I really loved her but kept praying to God to get me out of this relationship because I felt so guilty. He did and I started serving God again. But all the time I was trying to serve God I was still so lonely. I cried a lot and couldn't go to weddings without crying my eyes out from loneliness. I didn't want to let God down again but a woman came back into my life again after 30 years. I was so lonely I asked God to forgive me and decided to be with this woman. We've been together for two years now and I love her very much and the only time I cry now is when I watch a sad movie. If it's so wrong, why am I so much happier being in love with a woman then when I was a Christian or married?

Claudette


Dear Claudette,

First, please understand that God did not end your first relationship with a woman because you asked God to end it. That relationship ended because of your own guilt and shame around what God created you to be.

Remember the creation stories? Didn't God say it was not good for us to be alone? So yes, I would suppose, even though you were serving God, you felt very alone, because you bought the lies of those who seek to define what is of God and what isn't.

A woman has come into your life and you are now happy. You are still a Christian, yes? You still work to serve God to the best of your ability, yes? Then, my dear child of God, stop empowering those around you for your salvation does not depend on them in the least. Instead take the words of that old awful song; "Don't worry, be happy", to your heart and know that in this relationship God has blessed you mightily indeed!

God Bless,

Pastor Paul


Rev. Turner is Sr. Pastor at Gentle Spirit Christian Church in Atlanta, Georgia.

If you are seeking guidance and pastoral care on your journey to fullness as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered person, please contact Pastor Paul directly at pastorpaul@whosoever.org.