Rekindling My Faith
Though I am not gay or bisexual, I have faced many problems in my path to finding and rekindling my faith in Christianity. I have searched through many different religions, and I have made many mistakes I find myself unable to forgive myself for (in other religions).
Now that I have found refuge in Christ, I see some difficulties in perceiving it any differently then the other religions (which have damaged my spiritual and mental harmony severely) because of the wide variety of religions I have encountered. Though I know Christianity will not cause me harm or put me in danger as other religions have, I find it hard to give it the respect that it deserves. I pray, and I worship, but sometimes I feel as if I am speaking to emptiness, and my mind begins to waiver in faith. I desperately need help in finding solid faith in Christ, and love for God, as well as humility.
Please understand that all of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, regardless of how strong our faith is, go through difficult periods of trying to rekindle our faith in Christ. We all have moments where we are tired, frustrated, aggravated, or confused. Life is not easy, especially when you are trying to focus your attention on Christ. When it gets really tough, our faith gets tested, and we sometimes feel that God is not there for us. We end up feeling empty or wondering whether Christianity is what it is said to be.
Perhaps part of the answer in attempting to focus on the Christ in your life is to ask yourself what your reasons are for finding refuge in Jesus in the first place. Or, put in another way, how did you eventually come to realize that only Christ can provide you with the peace and shelter you are looking for? Could it be that other religions have "damaged my spiritual and mental harmony severely?" Only you can answer this question.
Although I will not go so far as to say that Christianity should be given more respect than other religions, I want to share with you a verse that may help you find some solid faith in Christ:
"For God had such love for the world that God gave God's only Son, so that whosoever believes in him may not come to destruction but have eternal life."
God is Love. Christ is Love. And if you demonstrate the same Love to others that God and Christ has given you, you are in essence, demonstrating your faith in Christ.
There is of course more to faith than just love, but this is an excellent start. I strongly suggest that as you continue to pray and read the Bible and speak to other Christians, whether they are pastors or lay persons, on how they have found ways to remain faithful to God. You may be pleasantly surprised to hear that their answers are not too different from the reasons as to why you found refuge in Christ in the first place. In the mean time there are three things to keep in mind -- give honor to God, give honor to yourself and give honor to all your relationships.
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Rev. Turner is Sr. Pastor at Gentle Spirit Christian Church in Atlanta, Georgia.
If you are seeking guidance and pastoral care on your journey to fullness as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered person, please contact Pastor Paul directly at email@example.com.