Help! My story is a little unique. I am Jewish, well now a messianic Jew. I spent 9 years reading and learning about Jesus, and about three years ago accepted Christ, I had some unbelievable experiences, and my life has changed forever.
Problem: About 9 months after I accepted Christ, a woman came into my life whom in the beginning I was reaching out to in a Christian way to help. A Single parent with 2 children and she was in very poor health. Please understand that I am a woman in my 40s and have been in married for 12 years. A very unhappy marriage, that I now realize I too have to take responsibility for. Anyway this woman can into my life, and we have become soul mates. She makes me happy and I make her happy. I even got to the point where I told my husband that I thought I might be gay, and that he wasn’t meeting my needs, he of course was hurt but let her move into our house. I felt for a long time that God had brought her into my life after my finding Christ was a clear sign that it was okay to be gay, I had been so unhappy before! To make a long story short, I told a very close friend at church about my relationship with her, seeking support, and as you can imagine, (Baptist) she basically shook up my belief that this was a relationship of love, I got scared and had her move out. I know I love her, and she loves me. But I am not sure how to live in this life anymore. What do you do when you are afraid of what society says. I was the one as a child, who never did anything wrong, didn’t smoke, drink, was never in trouble with the law. She is the first person I have ever been the real me with and I miss her.
Please help me.
My heart goes out to you. I can feel your anguish and pain in your letter. I am not sure that my words will be of much help to you as they require you make some hard decisions for yourself.
First, I praise God that your husband seems to be more then just a little supportive. It took great courage for you to tell him and great courage for him to let you move her in.
I am not sure what your friend from the church told you although I could guess. Actually it would have been more helpful to me had you told me, since I am not sure what tack she took with you.
I can only guess that she decried a homosexual relationship and that God would condemn you to hell for pursuing it. Please know this is either a lie based out of ignorance of what your life has been like or a attempt at telling you what is best for you. Either way, please understand if you are a lesbian and God has provided you with a person with who you can share your life, praise God!
“What do you do when you are afraid of what society says?” Get busy and find out the truth for yourself. Go to Steps to Recovery From Bible Abuse, read “Whosoever” cover to cover, check the links. Recognize these are people with far more understanding and knowledge of scripture and God then the woman at your church. You were very unhappy and then very happy. Take the hint, God answer your cries for help and provided you with a wonderful gift. Live the truth of your love. Get her back into your life. She was not a mistake. By your own admission your marriage to a man was not good — no big surprise since you are a lesbian.
My dear child of Christ, regardless of what society thinks if you are going to be happy and secure and at peace then you must be truthful with yourself and turn your fears to God. My option — divorce your husband, get your own place and develop the gift that God has sent your way!
Editor-in-Chief of Whosoever and Founding and Senior Pastor of Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta, Rev. Paul M. Turner (he/him) grew up in suburban Chicago and was ordained by the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches in 1989. He and his husband Bill have lived in metro Atlanta since 1994, have been in a committed partnership since the early 1980s and have been legally married since 2015.