Sin – what a terrible word!

That word can make people feel bad about themselves, make them do even more evil things, just because they feel guilty.

So it has been for me.

I am raised in a Pentecostal church there I learned from childhood what I could not or should not do. It was like a “sin-catalogue.”

“You cannot drink or smoke. do not use swear-words or curses. No sex before you are married, etc.” But you could talk behind another person’s back. It was okay, because “do not hurt anyone with your words, live in love..”

Today all this makes me sick in my heart! I get terribly sad. I still have to struggle with the feeling that I live in sin because I’m homosexual. I have hard time with reading the Bible, even if I know in my heart that God has created me like this, so why should he reject me?

No, God is bigger than anyone of us can understand! His thoughts are much higher than our thoughts, and His ways are much bigger than our ways. He knows the beginning and the end in every humans life. So why should he reject us? Is He a tyrant who loves to see us people suffer because we are sinner? No, I do not want to believe it. I believe in a God that loves us humans as we are. He wanted us to have peace in an evil world.

One Bible verse I like is in St. John 16: 8-11:

And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness and of judgment:
Of sin, because they believe not on me,
Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more,
Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.

I think and believe that the biggest sin is NOT believing in Jesus and what He did on the cross for you and for me. I also believe we should do good things for people and help those who need our help, no matter who they are. I have to admit that it is not an easy way, especially when you are hurt because of other people.

I have trouble with people myself, to trust them. I do not know when I can start to do it again, but I can always pray for them and try to help those who need my help. I can also pray to God for myself, that he opens my heart so he can put love in there, so I can love myself and others with his love.

I want to end with a prayer:

Lord, You see my heart which is sometimes very hard, bitter and filled with anger. Help me Lord, to see people around with your love, help me so I can help people who needs my help even if it cost me a lot of my own time or money. Give me a bleeding, loving and caring heart instead of the cold heart. Let me feel your love again and peace.

In Jesus name,
Amen

God bless you.