Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1 NIV)
Recently I responded to a post about the Black Church experience with LGBTQ+ condemnation and the use of the Bible as a weapon of condemnation and humiliation. I thought I would share my response with the Whosoever world.
All the preacher’s kids in the house holla AMEN! My father was a prominent minister in the community. The thought of me being a lesbian and a pastor to the LGBTQ+ community in the 1980s sent him over the edge.
He condemned me, my relationship, and my ministry. Yet, as his only daughter I had a mandate to appear at family gatherings.
Times were tense as he would recognize my brothers and my cousins in the ministry but never me. Every time I attended one of those functions I was flooded with a mix of emotions from shame to frustration at the lack of respect and recognition. My solution was to move from Cincinnati to Phoenix.
Over the course of the next 27 years he made five trips out to visit me to assure himself that I was doing okay.
The first two were steeped in his continued condemnation as he made a point not to come to my church to hear me preach. My oldest son had the task of making sure my father and his wife attended some Baptist church where he felt comfortable.
Then one year they surprised me and warned me they were coming to my church for worship that Sunday. To say I was shocked is insufficient in definition.
Short version here — in the Baptist tradition I recognized him and asked him for closing comments at the end of the service. My father blessed me and told me what an excellent job I had done and that I truly had a command of understanding and sharing God’s word. This was a moment of reconciliation I thought I would never see in his lifetime.
Dad last visited in 2014. He had one more surprise up his sleeve. He summoned my wife and me to his hotel under the guise of having breakfast.
First he sent me away as he talked to RoseAnne (my wife). I will never know the details of that conversation because when I asked her about it she just smiled.
Next, he talked to me as a loving father talks to his child about relationships and how to maintain them.
Then he talked to both of us and came as close as he could to giving us a blessing.
After he returned home, he wrote me a letter that made it clear that he was giving me his blessing. He let go of the condemnation and was now living in salvation and acceptance. I don’t know what or when he had his “aha” moment. But he did.
My thought is: if it happened for my dad, there is still hope for all the Black preachers who feel compelled to dispense condemnation on their children because of their life orientation.
As my dad discovered, this is not a choice. It is a reality of who I am.
As I order my steps when I look to the cross, I see salvation, not condemnation. I am free to be who I am because of Whose I am.
Serving as one of four Co-Pastors for Casa de Cristo Church and Apostolic Center in Phoenix, Ariz., an inner-city ministry that is Spirit-led and Bible-fed, Pastor Charlotte Strayhorne is a graduate of Xavier University in Cincinnati, Ohio, and has been in active ministry for more than 35 years.
Known in the LGBTQ community for her activism and leadership for equality and justice for all, she is a recipient of the City of Phoenix’s Martin Luther King Living the Dream Award. Her love for the theatre earned her an ariZoni for Best Supporting Actress as Calpurnia in the Hale Center production of “To Kill A Mockingbird”.
With deep family roots in Cincinnati, she is an ardent fan of her Cincinnati home teams but her heart bleeds purple for the WNBA Phoenix Mercury. With travel destinations from Indiana to Italy, she has been consistent in sharing her exciting message of love for God.