Hymns of the Lukewarm Church

The LukeWarm Church announces publication of “Church Songs,” whose title, according to the editor, was chosen because “we didn’t want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands anymore like ‘worship’ or ‘hymn.’ People in today’s society get kind of uncomfortable with too much talk about things like commitment and dedication. They’d much rather have a religion that they can turn on or off at will. Our book seeks to meet that need.”

Sample items:

  1. A Comfy Mattress Is Our God
  2. Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee
  3. Above Average is Thy Faithfulness
  4. Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
  5. All Hail the Influence of Jesus’ Name
  6. My Hope is Built on Nothing Much
  7. Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
  8. My Faith Looks Around for Thee
  9. Be Thou My Hobby
  10. O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
  11. Blest Be the Tie That Doesn’t Cramp My Style
  12. Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
  13. He’s Quite a Bit to Me
  14. Oh, How I Like Jesus
  15. I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviors on Jesus
  16. Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
  17. I Surrender Some
  18. Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow
  19. I’m Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives
  20. Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord is Come
  21. Sit Up, Sit Up for Jesus
  22. Special, Special, Special
  23. Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere Near Me
  24. Stick Nearby, It’s Getting Dark Outside
  25. Take My Life and Let Me Be
  26. There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
  27. There Shall be Sprinkles of Blessings
  28. What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
  29. When Peace, Like a Trickle. . .
  30. When the Saints Go Sneaking In
  31. Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
  32. God of Taste, and God of Stories
  33. Lift Every Voice and Intellectualize