I’m writing to you for advice because I need to find the will of God. Until 7 hours ago, I was in a relationship that lasted for 7 1/2 months straight. The reason my boyfriend and I broke up was that I was unsure of the will of God concerning our relationship. While I was not confident that it was wrong to the same certainty that I’m sure murder or theft is wrong, I was also not confident it was right to the same degree that I’m sure loving the LORD is right. In other words, it could go either way for me. I really want to do whatever Jesus asks of me, but I don’t know with any certainty what that is. Scripture is no help because I can refute any argument that anyone throws at me — pro- or anti- gay. Therefore, trying to answer this question intellectually seems utterly futile.
Is it possible to ask God in prayer and get a definite answer, without just taking something I see as a ‘sign’ supporting what I want to believe? If I can eliminate my doubts, and I conclude that it’s okay with [Jesus], my boyfriend and I will probably get back together. I miss him already, and I love him so much. I’m so confused… please help!
You want to do the will of God? Scripture, you say, is of no use because you can refute anything there. How about your heart? Can you refute your heart? Is not our heart where God speaks to us? Is it not our heart that leads us to the paths of righteousness? Is it not in our hearts that we experience God’s love for us?
My friend, loving another person can never be wrong. God loves us unconditionally and asks that we do the same. We were instructed by Jesus to love our neighbors as ourselves and while you probably would argue that has nothing to do with same gender love, it is certainly the place to start.
I know that you don’t want to hear about scripture, but let’s look at one for the sake of your peace of mind;
“God has made clear to you what is good; and what is desired from you by the Lord; only doing what is just, and loving mercy, and walking without pride before your God.” (Micah 6:8)
Now, I must tell you that if God created you with a free mind and a free will it is then up to you how you exercise that mind and will. Within that framework all that God requires is that we do justice, have mercy and walk humbly with God. My friend you love God, right? You know that God has blessed you with many gifts? One of those gifts is/was your boyfriend. How is it “just” to reject God’s gift to you? How is it an act of mercy to say that your 7.5 months together means nothing? How are you walking humbly with God when you reject God’s will out of hand?
Jesus said the devil can’t cast out the devil. If that is true neither can the love of God’s creation ever be wrong.
You say you want to do the will of God — then love God with all your heart, soul and strength, love your neighbor as yourself. Do this and you shall live. Do this and your boyfriend, God’s gift to you, can come home!
Editor-in-Chief of Whosoever and Founding and Senior Pastor of Gentle Spirit Christian Church of Atlanta, Rev. Paul M. Turner (he/him) grew up in suburban Chicago and was ordained by the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches in 1989. He and his husband Bill have lived in metro Atlanta since 1994, have been in a committed partnership since the early 1980s and have been legally married since 2015.