I’m sorry that, as it would appear on TV, that every Christian is anti-gay as your article on Sam Kader’s book made it appear. (I am also sensitive as I just saw the movie, “Chuck and Larry”.) Those “Christians” are not true believers as they abuse scripture by taking a few passages out of the Bible to use for their hate. In addition, we never once have an example of Christ being derogatory or pickets to publicly condemn “sinners”. He did rebuke sin, but only after demonstrating his grace. In fact, the only time he publicly condemned sinners was when he was chastising the religious leaders, the Pharisees.
The truth is, I’m a Christian and would never condemn or “show a gay person” the back door of our church. I do believe that God loves and will restore all believers who call on the name of Jesus. However, based on scripture, I believe that acting on ones homosexual feelings is a sin, just like cheating on your wife, stealing, lying, gossiping, etc.
I know that you disagree, but you know what, that’s ok! God will, as Scripture says, “judge all men according to their deeds”. I just wish we could have more open, honest conversations about the topic instead of fighting or reacting to the extremists of the world who have agendas of hate. And there are both “conservative” and “liberal” extremists who have no idea what the Bible says about the topic, but react based on emotion, and for that I am sorry.
Please take my word that by calling the act of homosexuality a sin, I don’t hate homosexuals. I feel extremely sorry for anyone who gets stuck in a pattern of sin, just like I was several years ago before becoming a Christian and was sleeping with every woman I could get my hands on. I was stuck in a world of my own self indulgence and cared little for God’s word or His standards for me. Thankfully, God, in his mercy, had patience with me and lovingly brought me to a place of repentance and grace. I pray that he would bring all people to that same place!
Yours in Christ,
Micah Editor Candace Chellew responds: Micah, thanks for your letter and your kind response to the article.
I, too, grow tired of the arguments from the extreme and wish we could find common ground on which to talk with one another.
That being said, I do have to take issue with you when you call homosexuality a “sin” in and of itself. You compare homosexuality to other things like cheating, stealing, lying, etc. I would hope that you would see how harmful and outright insulting that is for a person like myself to read. I have spent my entire life working to be a good person – deeply flawed but saved by grace. To have an intrinsic part of my life – my sexuality – compared to the behaviors of cheating, lying and stealing (which I try my flawed human best to avoid doing at all costs), it really does hurt. To get it from a complete stranger makes me kind of angry too, but I will not react to your letter from either my anger or my hurt. Instead, I hope that my words will be calm and gentle and help you understand why what you’re saying is harmful to the spirits of gay and lesbian people – and why we are not inherently sinful or condemned by the Bible.
You said that you slept with every woman you could get your hands on before God brought you to repentance. It seems to me that you are assuming that homosexuals, by their very nature, are promiscuous. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been in a monogamous, committed relationship for nearly 7 years. Before meeting my partner, I was never promiscuous. I respect my sexuality as a gift from God to be shared with someone that I love and no one else. This has always been my conviction.
Those who tell me they believe homosexual behavior is a sin like lying, stealing and cheating do just as you have done and go on to tell me that before they were saved they slept with anything that moved. The underlying assumption is that all homosexual behavior is lustful and promiscuous. What you fail to see is that homosexuality is a sexual orientation just like heterosexuality. It is amoral. Sin only enters the picture in how we USE our sexuality. When you were sleeping with any woman who stopped long enough for you to get on her, you were sinning – yes, indeed. You were misusing your sexuality.
Likewise, I will agree with you wholeheartedly that any gay or lesbian person who is sleeping with anything that moves is using their sexuality in a sinful way. They should repent and stop doing that. They need to learn how to use their sexuality to the glory of God – in loving, monogamous relationships.
Homosexuality, in and of itself, is not sinful just as heterosexuality in and of itself is not sinful. The Bible NEVER condemns loving, committed homosexual relationships. What is condemned are all abuses of sex – be it cheating, promiscuity or rape. Using someone as a sexual object, breaking a relational covenant, or abusing someone sexually is clearly condemned in scripture for both gay and straight people alike. Adultery is condemned the Bible but that condemnation does not mean heterosexuality is a sin in and of itself. Same goes for homosexuality. Simply because homosexual rape or other misuses of homosexual sex are condemned does not mean that the sexual orientation in and of itself is sinful.
The bottom line is this – any misuse of sexuality is sin, be it gay or straight. Gay and lesbian people involved in loving, committed relationships – using their sexuality in a right manner between one another – commit no sin.
Blessings, Candace Editor: This Web site is a gift from God. It wasn’t until about 15 minutes ago that I stumbled upon this site, I was angry and hateful towards God because one of his followers told me I was going to hell because I was a lesbian. I started to have no hope for any gay friendly Christians in this world. I just want you to know that I have been touched and have had a total positive turn around in my faith just because I came across you guys. Thank you so much for spreading what needs to be spread, you are giving hope to so many people, I know because you have given hope to me! Thank you and God Bless, Katie Editor: I have difficulty considering myself a Christian because of the way most Christians treat people who are different from them. I am not gay. I was once in a lesbian relationship for an extended period of time, but found that I was living a lie in fear of disappointing the wonderful woman who now remains my good friend. I have now realized that I identify as straight but have a profound knowledge of some of the difficulties a GLTB person faces in today’s world.
I am in awe of the work you are doing and cannot begin to thank you for restoring my faith in humanity and in my religion. Jennifer
Editor: Thank you so much for this site. I stumbled across it while looking into just how many churches really do hate me because of my sexuality. I wasn’t doing that because I am self-destructive. I just wanted to make a point to my very conservative parents.
I feel so alone being gay and also believing in God. I have withdrawn from the religion side of things but maintain my spirituality, preferring now to have a very personal, private relationship with God, away from the ridicule and “love the sinner, not the sin” crap.
Thank you for doing what you do. Finding a site dedicated to LOVE, to God’s love for ALL, without judgment, without the expectation of change, is beautiful. Thank you for representing God’s love for all people. Thank you for the absence of judgment. I wish I could say more than thank you. I wish I was able to contribute to you at this time. But know that in the future when I am better off, I’ll be back to hit that “donate” button. God bless you. Thank you so much for giving me some hope today.