An LGBTQ+ survival guide
In a world spiraling into chaos, protecting your mental health has never been more crucial. As we face relentless battles, prioritizing our well-being is the key to surviving the storm. This survival guide offers powerful strategies to help you stay grounded, reduce stress, and rise above the turbulence.
Battles within and without
As LGBTQ+ individuals, we face many battles—usually beginning with the one within ourselves. Coming to terms with our sexual orientation or gender identity in a predominantly heterosexual world can be a profound struggle. We are queer. Depending on factors such as family, religion, geography, and culture, this internal battle may be brief or persist for years. In my case, I fought against my own identity, doing everything I could not to be gay, for over two decades.
The other battles we fight are for our community — the Rainbow Tribe. Whether we identify as L, G, B, T, I, or embrace the Q, our differences unite us as a minority group in society. We are often on the back foot because of what’s known as minority stress. Minority stress is the stress faced by marginalized groups because of discrimination, prejudice, and societal exclusion, negatively affecting mental and physical health.
For many of us, we’ve known times of intense battle and times to cruise and enjoy our hard-won freedoms against inequality, stigma and discrimination. I’ve been fighting battles for 25 years. I have a dear friend, Peter de Waal, closer to 90 than 80, who, with his now-deceased partner Bon, has continued as an LGBTQ+ warrior since 1970. He’s an inspiration.
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
What the marriage equality postal survey taught us here in my native Australia
If you were born around the 2000s, most likely you haven’t known what it is like to have to fight for the TRIBE. Your right to marry the person you love — just as your parents did, and as your siblings and friends have or will — was the result of a 13-year struggle, culminating in the passage of Marriage Equality in Australia on December 9, 2017. This victory came after a postal survey, where 61.6 percent of Australians voted YES to marriage equality, while 38.4 percent said NO! The three months of the survey was an intense, divisive time. The government should have simply passed the legislation, but instead, to appease conservative members of the party, they resorted to a postal survey. We paid the price for their lack of courage and leadership.
It was a nasty time. The No campaign used the common tactics of fear mongering and sensationalism. They lied about us and our relationships and claimed the fabric of society would collapse because of men and women marrying someone they love of the same gender.
The barrage of negativity on TV, radio, print and social media was relentless and had a devastating effect on many LGBTQ+ individuals’ mental and emotional well-being research showed. Depression, anxiety, and distress were consistent outcomes for some LGBTQ+ people. A survey of 9,500 LGBTQ+ Australians, their friends and families, conducted by the Australia Institute and the National LGBTI Health Alliance found that verbal and physical assaults more than doubled in the three months following the announcement of the postal survey compared with the prior six months.
Trump lit a fire that will have global impacts
The Trump administration made it abundantly clear from day one that they have an anti-LGBTQ+ agenda. Trumps executive orders, divisive, controversial and insane decisions now feature daily in news reports and are flooding social media. It’s a concerted effort to erase our identities, roll back hard-won rights and cripple support services. This is only the beginning. Individual states in the US have already implemented the policies. Who knows how long this battle will go on for?
Already, emboldened by Trumpism politics and with a federal election in the pipeline, Australian conservatives are mimicking trump attitudes and polices. Conservatives know that those polices will gain them votes by lies, misinformation, fear mongering and conspiracies theories. It’s a well-proven strategy.
How to prioritize your mental health and well-being
To minimize the negative effects of the battle ahead, you’ll need to use some good self-management tools.And let me just remind you that your mental health and well-being is more important than “the cause.”
Here are my suggestions:
- Prioritize key issues. You can’t fight every battle at once. Choose two or three key issues that matter most to you and focus your energy there.
- Rely on trusted sources. Use expert analysis to get a clearer picture of what is really going on from those who explain patterns and strategies rather than just reporting events.
- Know your triggers. We all have them. How self-aware are you about those, or do you always get unconsciously click-baited? The LGBTQ+ press sometimes use the same strategy.
- Avoid online arguments that won’t change people. Honestly, it is a waste of time and energy with some people. You’ll just have to leave them in their ignorance and bigotry. Consider where your activities and energies will have the greatest impact.
- Rely on your network and chosen family for support. As with any challenging personal times, it is often our friends and family who pull us through. That’s what they are there for. Use them. Be honest with them.
- Practice self-care. Advocacy is a long-term effort; it can be draining, and burnout is real. Prioritize mental health. What activities take your mind off the treadmill or out of the loop? Nature? Going to the movies with friends? Painting? A hobby? Reading a good book? Physical activity? Binge watching a series that keeps your mind engaged. Especially comedies.
- Leverage social media strategically. Social media can be a powerful tool when used effectively. Rather than reacting emotionally, use it to share credible information, amplify important voices.
- Disengage before it’s too late. Once again, being self-aware is vital. Know when it is time to pull out and have a break. No one is going to condemn you for looking after yourself.
- Meditate. If you’ve often thought, I must try that. Now would be a good time to stop procrastinating. Join a class. Go with a friend. Do you know about Mindfulness? It’s the simplest and easiest way to relax, destress and quiet an overactive mind.
- Be kind to yourself and others. I always say that the power of kindness is underrated. Even with those who oppose us. I have stories that demonstrate that. Kindness can achieve more than anger and aggression.
Remember this: History tells us that the LGBTQ+ community is resilient, passionate and used to long battles. In the end, we will win and, who knows, if you’ve applied the above, you’ll come out of this with some valuable life skills.
One of Australia’s foremost commentators on faith and sexuality, Anthony Venn-Brown OAM is the author of the best-selling autobiography A Life of Unlearning, which details his journey from being one of the first in the world to experience religious gay conversion therapy, to becoming a married, high-profile preacher in Australia’s growing megachurches (including the precursor to Hillsong), to living as an openly gay man. Founder and CEO of Ambassadors & Bridge Builders International, he was awarded the Order of Australia Medal (OAM) for service to the LGBTIQ community.