The Pit

A man fell in a pit and couldn’t get out.

A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: “I FEEL for you down there!”

An OBJECTIVE person came along and said: “It’s logical that someone would fall down there.”

A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came by and said: “You only think you are in the pit.”

A PHARISEE said: “Only bad people would fall in a pit.”

A MATHEMATICIAN calculated HOW he fell in the pit.

A NEWS REPORTER wanted the exclusive story on his pit.

A FUNDAMENTALIST said: “You deserve your pit.”

CONFUCIOUS said: “If you would have listened to me, you would not have fallen into that pit.”

BUDDHA said: “Your pit is only a state of mind.”

A REALIST said: “That’s a pit.”

A SCIENTIST calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./ to get him out of the pit.

A GEOLOGIST told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.

AN EVOLUTIONIST said: “You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle.” In other words, “He is going to die in the pit, so he can’t produce any pit-falling offspring.”

The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked if he had a permit to dig the pit.

A PROFESSOR gave him a lecture on the elementary principles of the pit.

An EVASIVE person came along and avoided the subject of pits all together.

A SELF-PITYING person came along and said: “You haven’t seen anything till you’ve seen my pit.”

A CHARISMATIC said: “Just confess that you are not in the pit!”

An OPTIMIST said: “Things could be worse.”

A PESSIMIST said: “Things are going to get worse.”

JESUS, seeing the man took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit.