The Politically Correct 23rd Psalm

The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship, and I am in a position of negative need.

He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and conducts me into lateral proximity with a non-torrential aqueous accumulation.

He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.

Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non- illuminated geological interstice of mortality, terror sensations shall not be manifest within me due to the proximity of omnipotence.

Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped-restraint module induce in me a pleasurific mood state.

You design and produce a nutrient-bearing support structure in the context of non-cooperative elements.

You enact a head-related folk ritual utilizing vegetable extracts, and my beverage container exhibits inadequate volumetric parameters.

Surely it must be an intrinsic non-deductible factor that your inter- relational, emphatic, and non-vengeful attributes will pursue me as their target focus for the duration of the current non-death period.

And I will possess tenant rights in the residential facility of the Lord on a permanently open-ended time basis.