Worry Is a Drain on the Spirit

Luke 12:11-12: When they bring you before the synagogues, the rulers, and the authorities, do not worryabout how you are to defend yourselves or what you are to say; for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that very hour what you ought to say.

Matthew 6:27: And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?

Matthew 6:34: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Samuel, Luke and Matthew seem to have the most to say about worry of one sort or another. If worry helped us to grow and expand our minds then I imagine Gay people have a chance to grow where most ‘normal’ people don’t.

As a Lesbian, I feel I had to think more, deeper, to swim or to sink and deal with challenges which proved to me many different perspectives on life and from that reach higher self acceptance and serenity with God and with my friends, family and other’s straight or gay who were willing to accept me as a complete person. Then for those who did not, I had to leave behind.

I miss them but mourn or worry isn’t part of growth. Coming out can take away the masks we feel we must wear and leave behind the friends who are not true and keep those who are accepting and honest. I’m a happy person and is that because I am gay or am I the happy person because I am a blessed soul. I think both because I am true to who God created me to be. My straight friends aren’t so lucky! They don’t have this rare chance to grow! Being gay is just that: to sink or to swim. When you can swim, you are lucky.

Like most of us, I’ve had my share of challenges that resulted through my homosexuality. I am now beyond that and thought it took some time to find my God given path, the realization and the peace it has provided me is magic. My path gave me a different perspective than some, but there is (despite the difficulties) something wonderful about being Lesbian, homosexual, gay and just plain at peace with myself and God that I cannot put into words. It is exciting this being a creation of God, but it is a blessing in the highest spiritual way. I have been chosen, not different in any queer way but special as I believe we are all special and unique in God’s grace.

I imagine myself being included in God’s grace and love knowing God has made me the way I am; different in one way but much more like others who love God. Christ said love they neighbor – not love him or her only if????

Jesus walked with and talked with “undesirables.” He befriended and made a tax collector one of his disciples (a tax collector is far worse than being gay in those days), and a prostitute. Jesus was and is pure love.

It challenges us to love who we are and to accept yourself first and you need to find support. Maybe start with one friend you know that is accepting. Find a church that will accept you for you, first and foremost.

I believe God made me who I am. I believe God puts me in many situations so that I will always remember from where my salvation comes. I am not capable of being good enough to earn my salvation! The only thing I can do is continue doing what I feel is in Christ’s will. The closer to God we are the less we are bothered by our gayness. The end I pray will be that Christ will judge my heart and tell me that yes I did Believe, Rely on and Trust in Him. I continue to struggle because I am not sure if I have done so?

C.S. Lewis wrote that God knows what a wretched machine that we are trying to drive and that God only asks that we do the best we can! The Bible says that a measure of faith has been given. I take that to mean the truth of the matter is the matter of truth that I have for me and my relationship with God.