You think God’s presence is strongest on the back three pews.
You think “Amazing Grace” is the national anthem.
You judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat worked up by the preacher.
Your definition of fellowship has something to do with food.
You ever wondered when Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong would get paid off.
You honestly believe that the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
You think worship music has to be loud.
You think Jesus actually used Welch’s grape juice and saltine crackers.
You judge the quality of a service by its length.
You ever wake up in the middle of the night craving fried chicken and interpret that feeling as a call to preach.
You believe that you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
You have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
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