You might be a Unitarian Universalist if…

• You have ever been in an argument over whether or not breast milk is vegan.
• When you dress for a formal evening out you wear a little black dress, pearls — and Birkenstocks (and your wife thinks you look great!)
• You are unsure about the gender of God.
• You own six pairs of Birkenstocks and your favorite pair needs to be thrown away.
• You get Newt Gingrich confused with the Grinch who Stole Christmas.
• The money you sent to the Sierra Club last year was more than you spent on your mother at Christmas.
• You think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle.”
• You study the “10 Suggestions” instead of the Ten Commandments.
• The only time “Jesus” is mentioned at church is when someone trips or stubs a toe.
• Your child says to you before eating dinner at a friend’s house “I’ll remember to say my ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ but I’m not going to say that dinner ‘pledge of alliegance’.”
• You think a Holy day of Obligation is your turn to do coffee.
• You get mail from committees you didn’t know you were on.
• You know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.