You Might Be a Unitarian Universalist if…

You might be a Unitarian Universalist if …

  • you have ever been in an argument over whether or not breast milk is vegan.
  • when you dress for a formal evening out you wear a little black dress, pearls — and Birkenstocks (and your wife thinks you look great!)
  • you are unsure about the gender of God.
  • you own six pairs of Birkenstocks and your favorite pair needs to be thrown away.
  • you get Newt Gingrich confused with the Grinch who Stole Christmas.
  • the money you sent to the Sierra Club last year was more than you spent on your mother at Christmas.
  • you think the Holy Trinity is “reduce, reuse and recycle.”
  • you study the “ten suggestions” instead of the “Ten Commandments.”
  • the only time “Jesus” is mentioned at church is when someone trips or stubs a toe.
  • your child says to you before eating dinner at a friend’s house “I’ll remember to say my ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ but I’m not going to say that dinner ‘pledge of alliegance’.”
  • You think a Holy day of Obligation is your turn to do coffee.
  • You get mail from committees you didn’t know you were on.
  • You know at least two people who are upset that trees had to die for your church to be built.