Breaking Those Ties That Bind

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
— 2 Corinthians 6:14

A friend and I were having a conversation recently, and we both agreed there is no such thing as a clean break in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. We go to the same churches. We go to the same movies, stores, clubs and, in some larger cities, we even all live in the same neighborhood. It’s almost impossible to break it off with someone without the entire break up becoming public access.

In the case of Christians it becomes even more complicated. Because marriage is not legally binding in the majority of areas where we all live, then many of people of our community see that as a free pass to any kind of behavior we see fit.

Most of us have heard the U-haul jokes about lesbians and the “what second date?” jokes about gay men. We should stop laughing at those jokes, because they are not funny. As Christians, we should hold ourselves to a higher standard, and it does not matter one iota if we are gay or straight. The Bible is very specific on what people should and should not do in accordance with relationships to one another. God expects us to behave differently than non-believers, so we should not only expect the same thing, we should make it a priority in our lives.

Colossians 3:1-17

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

We need to behave like Jesus, whether we are straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or anything else. When we develop an intimate relationship with someone you also develop a soul tie with that person. Developing a soul tie is binding yourself to a person, place or thing. Soul ties are strong, and very difficult to break. Someone once gave me the example of a soul tie being equivalent to gluing two pieces of paper together. If you try to rip those pieces of paper apart then usually one sticks to the other and both of them become ripped.

1 Corinthians 6:16 says, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.'”

It says in Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7-8 that when a couple comes together they become one flesh. If you happen to become one flesh with someone and you have to break that tie you end up leaving part of yourself, and how many parts can your afford to lose?