Creation Red Tape

GOD created the Heavens and the Earth.

Immediately he was faced with a class action law suit for failing to file an Environmental Impact Statement.

He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with a cease and desist order for the earthly portion.

Appearing at the hearing, GOD was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he simply liked to be creative.

Then GOD said, “Let there be light”, and immediately officials demanded to know how bright the light would be. Would nuclear energy be used?

What about thermal pollution? GOD explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. GOD was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire; that he would obtain a building permit; and that he promised to conserve energy by turning off the light half of the time.

GOD agreed, and said that he would call the light “Day” and the darkness “Night”. Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.

GOD said, “Let the Earth bring forth green herb and bear much seed.” the E. P. A. agreed so long as native seed was used.

Then GOD said, “Let the waters bring forth creeping creatures begetting life; and the fowl that may fly over the Earth”. Officials pointed out that this would require approval from the Department of Game, coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelical Society.

Finally everything was O. K.

That is until GOD said he wanted to complete his project in six days.

At this point officials told him that it would take at least 200 days to review the application and impact statement. After that there would be public hearings. Then there would be a ten to twelve month approval period before…………