She stares off into space, disappointment marks her face
Her spirit weakens as she stares at an empty bottle of grace
She’s grown weary in spirit pretending all these years
Hiding in the shadows, paralyzed by her fears
She feels the weight of untamed forces, and it drives her to the ground
Her identity is lost and all she’s craving is to be found
She was once so colorful, unveiling beauty and light and hope
But haunting whispers of condemnation have left her too weak to cope…
And she’s crying out…
Why can’t I be me?
Why do I have to hide because you refuse to see?
And why do you think you know what’s best for my life?
Don’t you know that your judgment causes so much strife?
Tell me why can’t I be me?
The day finally comes… she decides to be silent no more
She arms herself with a new courage as she opens that closet door
Deep in her spirit, an awakening begins and she cracks a small smile
Could this be it? Could she really be free to be after such a long while?
She exits determined to live, to laugh, to love with all of her heart
But waiting for her is an army of people ready to tear her apart…
Family, friends, and strangers shout hateful words and throw stones at her face
Wounded, bleeding, she crumbles to the ground… tears flow as she begs for grace…
And she’s crying out…
Why can’t I be me?
Why do I have to hide because you refuse to see?
And why do you think you know what’s best for my life?
Don’t you know that your judgment causes so much strife?
Tell me why can’t I be me?
As she lies there a pile of shame…
A stranger emerges with no name…
Lifting her gently she is embraced with arms so strong…
And begins to hear the most beautiful song…
I love you beautiful, just the way you are
Won’t you dance with me underneath the stars?
I will never leave you… just know that I am here
Silently dancing over you, always near
A writer and poet who worked for 12 years in the mental health field, Dominica Applegate is the author of the book Recycle Your Pain: It Has a Purpose and a poetry collection titled The Pain, It Shapes Her World. Her work has been published in Elephant Journal, Mind Body Green, CafeTruth, Sober Living, and The Addiction Advisor.