Christians believe the Bible is a resource for all ages. However a few Churches in Columbia Maryland have updated “The Beatitudes”… originally presented at the “Sermon on the Mount” (Matthew 5: 1-11): Blessed are the poor in spirit, they are rife consumers for all manner
Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities? Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Why are there cars
Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SL: Have you
Author Unknown Some important theological questions are answered if we think of God as a computer programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the debugger, but it’s tedious to step through all those variables. Q:
Author Unknown Our Lager, Which art in barrels Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk (I will be drunk) at home as it is in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillages as we forgive those who
What if Paul was the type to send chain letters? What if Paul really wrote chain letters in King James English? (This of course is the only authorized version of any respectable chain letter.) The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians With
Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deut 21:11-13) Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his
We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time to
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named “Administratium.” Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God and