A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!” he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not. Along came a man who had
1. Blaming your farts on me!! Not funny, not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway? 4. Any trick
Editor: I think your online magazine is wonderful, and the name especially really strikes a chord. I am not gay, but am a Christian who was wondering why a religion that unconditional love and acceptance would be so prejudiced. In your magazine, I found all
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. If people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew! 2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time. 3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. 4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500
Editor: I’m a 19-year-old actor from Carnegie Mellon and I just read your piece People Suck. I’m a Unitarian Universalist and was raised by two women in a Gay and Lesbian Bed and Breakfast on the Potomac River. I loved your piece a lot! Thanks
Dentist’s Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns Weatherman’s Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings Contractor’s Hymn: The Church’s One Foundation Tailor’s Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy Golfer’s Hymn: There’s a Green Hill Far Away Politician’s Hymn: Standing on the Promises Optometrist’s Hymn: Open My Eyes
Calvinists believe the game is fixed. Lutherans believe they can’t win, but trust the Scorekeeper. Quakers won’t swing. Unitarians can catch anything. Amish walk a lot. Pagans sacrifice. Jehovah’s Witnesses are thrown out often. Televangelists get caught stealing. Episcopalians pass the plate. Evangelicals make effective
Editor: I would like to thank you for your online Christian magazine. It has, undoubtedly, saved my life. And I meant that statement literally. I found your magazine about two years ago when I was deeply struggling with my sexuality and my religion. I love
1. Dear God, please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda 2. Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look