Being bisexual does not mean equal attraction to both sexes, which is the first misconception of bisexuality. While you do have a preference for one sex, you recognize your attraction for the other. This is also called “dual attraction.” Among the many misconceptions individuals have about bisexuality is that all bisexuals are non-monogamous.
While it is true that bisexuals have a tendency to be involved in non-monogamous relationships, there are those who prefer to be involved in monogamous relationships. I am in this category, being married to a non-bisexual woman.
Another misconception is that bisexuals aren’t really gay. Since bisexuals can be seen engaged in heterosexual relationships, this confusion is easy to see. From time to time this misunderstanding has occurred within the gay community with some who feel that we aren’t gay enough because of the dual nature of bisexuality. Conversely we aren’t “straight” enough for heterosexuals. A new term “biphobia”, the equivalent of “homophobia”, has been coined because of this misunderstanding. Since we have the capacity for homosexual as well as heterosexual attraction, bisexuals really are “gay.”
I don’t find bisexuality incompatible with Christianity. Let me clarify that from my Christian perspective. While I don’t intend to judge bisexuals who are in non-monogamous relationships, I believe that committed loving monogamous bisexual relationships are not in conflict with the Bible. This is also a position espoused by many homosexual Christians as well.
As it was said in the book Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu: “More than having a sexual relationship with both genders, bisexuality is a mind frame, a reference point from which to view the world. Being bisexual has more to do with potential than actuality.” As a bisexual Christian I can say it truly gives you another way of looking at people. It speaks of love that goes beyond gender, a love that moves beyond the physical, a spiritual love or as it is said in Galatians 3:28: “There is neither…male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
That is what bisexuality means to me, a different way of looking at the world, going beyond the conventions of society’s definition of love.