A Pet Centipede
A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, [100-legged bug], which
Category Archives: Humor
Divorce Attorney in Heaven
A New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asked him, “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the
Only One Pew?
A rich man goes to his minister and says, “I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I’ll have a surprise for you.” The minister accepts the offer, and he and
Let Her Walk
The visiting preacher was really getting the congregation moving. Near the end of his sermon he said this church has really got to walk – to which someone in the back yelled, “let her walk, preacher.” The preacher then said if this church is going
God Takes a Holiday
God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, “You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?” St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, “How about Jupiter? It’s nice and warm there this time of the year.”
A Barber Shop in Washington, D.C.
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord.” The next morning, the barber came to work and there
Lo-Cal Church
Has the heaviness of you old fashioned church got you weighted down? Try us! We are the New and Improved Lite Church of the Valley. Studies have shown we have 24% fewer commitments than other churches. We guarantee to trim off guilt, because we are
Health Care Workers in Heaven
Several persons who had worked in health care professions, having died, were lined up for (hopefully) entrance through the Pearly Gates into heaven, awaiting St. Peter’s ‘gatekeeping’ questions. “And what area of health care were you involved with?” he asked the first. “I worked in
Poor Preacher
The Baptist preacher just finished his sermon for the day and proceeded toward the back of the church for his usual greetings and handshaking as the congregation left the church. After shaking a few adult hands he came upon the seven year old son of
Army of the Lord
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You