GOD created the Heavens and the Earth. Immediately he was faced with a class action law suit for failing to file an Environmental Impact Statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with a cease and desist order for the
A man dies and goes to heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates. St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give
1. How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, since his or her hands are in the air anyway. Or… Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. 2. How many Calvinists
Scripture readings: Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the lands! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know the Lord is God! It is he that made us and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep
Microsoft Corporation today announced its intent to purchase, copyright, and upgrade God Himself. The new product would be named, predictably enough, Microsoft God,” and would be available to consumers sometime in late 1998. Too many people feel separated from God in today’s world,” said Dave
A man fell in a pit and couldn’t get out. A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: “I FEEL for you down there!” An OBJECTIVE person came along and said: “It’s logical that someone would fall down there.” A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came by and said:
The first book of the Bible is Guinness’s in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple. Noah’s wife was Joan of Ark. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. Samson slayed the Philistines with
The ‘Sermon on the Mount’ would be a musical Jesus would never wear white after Labor Day Priests would get married … wait a minute … never mind The Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce Mary’s hair would be FLAWLESS The Temple would
A retiring physical chemistry professor was setting his last exam, for a graduate course in statistical thermodynamics. Being a bit bored with it all, and with a well kept and wry sense of humour, he set a single question on the sheet: Is Hell endothermic**
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”