The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere! “It has long been known”… I didn’t look up
Noah: “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head” Adam and Eve: “Strangers in Paradise” Lazarus: “The Second Time Around” Esther: “I Feel Pretty” Job: “I’ve Got a Right to Sing the Blues” Moses: “The Wanderer” Jezebel: “The Lady is a Tramp” Samson: “Hair” Salome: “I Could
Tired of being rejected for jobs? Maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear [Interviewer’s Name]: Thank you for your letter of [Date of Interview]. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air. Roman Catholics: None. They use candles. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off. Episcopalians: Eight.
You think John the Baptist started the SBC. You think God’s presence is strongest on the back three pews. You think “Amazing Grace” is the national anthem. You judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat worked up by the preacher. Your
The Dentist’s Hymn………………Crown Him With Many Crowns The Weatherman’s Hymn………There Shall Be Showers of Blessing The Contractor’s Hymn………….The Church’s One Foundation The Tailor’s Hymn…………………Holy,Holy, Holy The Golfer’s Hymn………………..There is A Green Hill Far Away The Politician’s Hymn……………Standing on the Promises The Optometrist’s Hymn………..Open My Eyes
An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, “And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham.Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.” And Dot Com
The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship, and I am in a position of negative need. He prostrates me in a green-belt grazing area, and conducts me into lateral proximity with a non-torrential aqueous accumulation. He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological
1) Nice bible 2) I would like to pray with you 3) You know Jesus? Me too!! 4) I know a church where we could go and talk. 5) How about a hug, sister? 6) Do you need help carrying your Bible? It looks heavy.
Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips. Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t dorm food. Paul’s Letters to the Romans